life coach hong kong

2017: The Good Stuff

I’m in California looking at the ocean and taking some time to reflect on this year. From moving to Bali to meeting and hanging out with Richard Branson at Necker to sitting for my first Ayahuasca ceremony, 2017 turned out to be a year of surprises, massive growth, and setting the stage for 2018 in a big way.

Because sharing more of my personal journey with you is one of my goals, I’ve decided to start a bit early and share with you my top 5 highlights of the year and the lessons they taught me.

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Moving to Bali

What was originally a trip to celebrate my birthday turned into the decision to relocate and one of the best life choices that I’ve ever made. On the morning of my 33rd birthday, I found myself watching the sunrise at the top of a volcano not far from Ubud and knowing with every fiber in my being that I was home. That 'knowing' was everything but rational but I decided to listen to it.

That feeling initiated what was to become a time of transition and it looked like the Universe and my former partner agreed because it took me just 6 days to make the Bali - Hong Kong - Bali move almost seamlessly. I’ve spoken about my Bali experience at length in another post so I won’t elaborate much further but will say that Bali taught me to appreciate simplicity and to slow down. It helped me strip away layers of my ego that were getting in the way of my continued growth and gave me friendships that I will treasure forever.

The Lesson? Life will always make sure you learn what you need to learn and all those lessons won’t necessarily come from big struggles. It’s good to pay attention to things when they’re working too. What is meant for you flows. Your job is to get your mindset and your actions to align and facilitate that flow making sure you get out of your own way. Your biggest ally in that effort is your gut. Always trust your gut.

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The Explosive Growth of Meuf on Top

Just a little over two years ago when I was still living in Paris, I had an idea as I reflected on how many incredible women I knew. My life was made richer by every single one of these connections and I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if I created a space to share them with each other… To see what would happen when a very diverse and powerful group of women from different backgrounds and countries were given the opportunity to share ideas and resources with each other with no specific goal in mind other than to grow.

Thankfully and much to my surprise, the results have been fantastic! We are a community that has grown from 83 women in 4 countries to almost 500 in 15. Just this year alone we grew 480%. We speak 7 different languages and have members ranging from ages 17 - 92. We host themed gatherings in different cities across the globe and have become a tribe of women that operates in a highly conscious, open-minded and loving way. Everyone of these ladies works hard to make their community better and to be a better human.

I couldn’t be more proud of the caliber of woman I see the group attracts but also of the fact that the group has grown far beyond the extension of my own personal network and into a truly global community!

On a professional front, Meuf on Top has allowed me to gather insight into what women are thinking and how to be a better coach. The group has also afforded me the opportunity to test out new content ideas and develop new offerings designed based on the feedback that I’ve been able to gather.

The lesson? Almost everything/everyone in our lives can teach us something about how to run our businesses better. Inspiration is everywhere so follow your curiosity, you never know where it may lead you and what you could learn from it.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this, I started the group almost as a social experiment and boy has it proven to have been a good idea! I unknowingly created a platform that enhances my business by giving me valuable input about one of my biggest market segments and have created a global network of allies for Namasme. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, MAGIC HAPPENS WHEN STRONG WOMEN DECIDE TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. I’m looking forward to seeing the continued organic growth of the group and if you’re reading this and want to join, to seeing an invite request from you on Facebook. To join, click here!

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Necker Island

I was invited to Necker by someone who I admire deeply, my friend and founder of Supershe, Kristina Roth. As a business woman, Kristina was able to do what few can… She came to this country with a laptop and a dream and in less than 10 years built and sold one of the fastest growing companies in the United States according to Forbes magazine. She’s bold, brilliant, and has a huge heart.

I met Kristina in Paris in 2016 just as she was beginning her new project Supershe and was looking to connect with like-minded women doing interesting things in the world. During our interview we hit it off and ended up spending the day together and having a great time. We kept in touch and as as fate would have it, less than a year later, Kristina would invite me to Necker, not knowing that Richard Branson has been one of my heroes for as long as I can remember. Naturally I jumped on the opportunity and it turned out to be a spectacular trip.

For five days I was surrounded by some of the most brilliant minds from Silicon Valley, European tech, Venture Capital, Fashion, world renowned scholars and athletes, 500 flamingos, lemurs, and a very vigilant tortoise. We ate, we laughed, we danced, we sang, we were outdoors all day, and we talked about life and spirituality. We talked about the world, what is coming, and how to do our part to make it a better place.

I had the opportunity to talk to get to know Richard and observe him in his natural habitat and much to my delight was able to confirm that everything that I’d thought about him prior to our meeting was correct. He is a wonderful human being and full of life and in his 70’s keeps his staff of twenty somethings on their toes with his energy and enthusiasm. More importantly, I noticed that he had two traits in common with everyone I met there...They didn't take themselves too seriously (as the merman tail in the picture suggests) and were all solutions minded and forward thinking. If something needed to be done, the question was never ‘if’ but ‘how’. That stuck with me.

I left Necker full of fire and inspired to grow Namasme. How? I wasn't quite sure at the time. I just knew that I wanted to have a deeper and more meaningful impact on the world and I had plenty of inspiration and references of just how possible is it to make it happen. Now that I have a better of idea of what I will be doing in 2018, I 'm literally counting down the days till January!

The Lesson? It’s important to surround yourself with people who push you to stretch yourself in all ways, physically, intellectually, emotionally. People who are creating their own path with courage and who are committed to something bigger than themselves. People who are curious, talented, and satisfied without being complacent. People who don't believe in convention because it yields conventional results. Those who understand that you’re never too small to have an impact if you have a vision and a plan, the energy to see it through, and the humility to listen and to know that regardless of how successful you are, you will forever have something to learn.

 Necker and my Necker ‘familia’, without knowing it taught me how to dream bigger than I previously given myself permission to do. For that I will be forever thankful and oh so ready for the goodness coming in 2018.

***Unfortunately, it looks like we were one of the last groups to visit Necker this year since it, along with the rest of the BVI’s and much of the Caribbean were decimated by Hurricane Irma. If you’re reading this and would like to get involved in the relief effort for the BVI’s, please visit: www.bvihelp.com to see how you can help.***  

 

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Launching Our Youtube Channel

I won't lie, there are days where I miss my showbiz career. Days when I miss doing work that impacts a large group of people, not just those I have immediate and personal access to. Days when I remember how delicious it is to use my creativity for a good cause as we did on television with the Nenaemboscada. Because of that, earlier this summer we launched our Youtube channel and though it's till very much in it's nascent phase and the recovering perfectionist inside of me is still a bit uncomfortable with the production quality of what we've put out so far because we were literally filming in the jungle, I'm proud of the subject matter that we covered, the over 2,200 views we have, and our 69 subscribers.

That said, we plan on growing the Namasme online footprint in 2018 and will be making the Namasme Media Youtube channel a priority. This means more content, less roosters in the background, and more fun and engaging topics so join us and subscribe or send us a note if you have any content ideas that you would like to see us explore to hey@namasme.com!

The Lesson? Done is better than perfect. Sometimes you just have to jump and adjust as you go.

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Sitting For My First Ayahuasca Ceremony

I'd heard a lot about the life changing experiences that friends had had with Ayahuasca for years and always knew it was something that I wanted to experience but only under the right circumstances. I strongly believe that journeys with plant medicine are to be taken seriously, done responsibly, and in a safe environment. Opening the doors of perception can be an incredibly healing experience but also a scary one and for that reason I waited until I found the right opportunity and the right people to sit with 'grandmother'.

The ceremony allowed me to experience a feeling of 'Oneness' I'd never felt before. I'd understood it conceptually but there was something about being in nature that night that made me feel at a cellular level that we're all a part of something bigger and that we really do depend on each other to live harmoniously with each other and with our planet.

The lesson? Neither we, or anything that we do ever really exist in isolation and as such, we carry a tremendous responsibility to ensure that we are the best versions of ourselves so that we can be wise and humble enough to tread lightly on this earth. Every decision that we make matters. Every decision that we make gives us an opportunity stand for the world that we want to see and for the love that we want to embody.

Purpose isn't something that you find of that you should spend your time chasing. Purpose is something that you can infuse into every day of your life by making every act sacred...by making every act stand for something. By being conscious of the fact the very fact that you're breathing is a gift. If you choose to live this way, you'll find that life will show you where to go.

***Please note that this is NOT and endorsement of Ayahuasca or any plant medicine. My intention in this post is not to encourage you to go down this path. That decision is solely yours and plant medicine isn't for everyone and can have serious physical and emotional consequences. It is NOT meant to be a recreational activity. If you do decide to do so, however, please make sure you do what you can to ensure you'll have a safe and fulfilling experience***

My hope in sharing with you these highlights is to encourage you to take some time and reflect on what you learned this year. If you do, you are embracing a growth mindset and are putting yourself in the position to embrace what's next by having both feet firmly planted in the knowledge of where you stand.

So, what would your top 5 be for 2017?

Namasme.

***(I chose 'How to Fly' By Sticky Fingers as the song for this post because while everyone else on the planet had Despacito on repeat, this was my JAM for most of the year. There is something about its vibe that I find incredibly infectious. Enjoy!)***

Just Be A Friend To Yourself

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were as good a friend to yourself as you are to your friends? We did not too long ago, wrote this song, and felt compelled to share with you today. 

Special bonus? You'll get fully immersed in my Bali life right along the cicadas, chickens, and crafty neighbors.... 😉 As they say, sometimes done is better than perfect! We hope you enjoy and look forward to your feedback.

Namasme.

33 at 33: Lessons I've Learned From Being The Age of Jesus

So, 3 days till my birthday on the 3rd month of 2017 and I’m turning 33. In celebration of that and considering the fact that by my age Jesus had already changed humanity, I felt compelled to take stock of these past 396 months to see what I’ve learned from them and to share those lessons with you.

After all, Jesus left some pretty big shoes for us to fill and I, for one, am aware I fall painfully short on the accomplishment front by comparison. But then again don't we all except for maybe Elon Musk? 

After some deliberate thought, I came up with 33 lessons. To be sincere, I'm not sure if any of these is going to be life changing for you but I do know that one or two of these may resonate and make you think about things a little differently... if at least for a short while. So enjoy, have a laugh, and by all means comment if the spirit moves you. 

 

-Jenniffer's 33 at 33- 

 

  1. The best investment you can make is in a good mattress and comfortable pillows. 
  2. Failure is a mindset. If you frame a situation as a problem rather than an opportunity, you’re limiting what you can create from it. You’ve limited your scope and therefore your possible ‘solutions’.

  3. People are in your life for the amount of time that you’re supposed to teach each other things. If they leave, it’s because you’ve reached the end of your mutual learning or because the lesson they’re meant to teach you will come from your separation. 

  4. It’s not about feeling better, It’s about getting better at feeling. The pursuit of happiness for the sake of happiness is very noble but will leave you disappointed if you make happiness the destination and fail to understand that the enjoyment of life lies in the journey. 

  5. Be proactive about your personal development when times are good. Waiting for a crisis to change shit is unnecessarily traumatic.

  6. Travel is by far the best education. It offers lessons in context, humility, and freedom. 

  7. The least selfish thing that you can do to improve your relationships with others is to keep the focus on you. Worry about what you're bringing to the table and make sure that it is worthy of what you expect in return.

  8. There is no greater personal development project than starting a business….especially on your own. 

  9. Anywhere you go, there you are. You can run from everything except yourself so you may as well get to know the person who'll be with you for the rest of your life and learn to like them.

  10. Just because you CAN deal with something doesn’t mean you HAVE to. Remember, you have a limited amount of energy to use every day. 

  11. Some people are better to love… from afar. That doesn't mean you don't love them.

  12. When you travel, do support the local economy. Uber and McDonald's don’t need your vacation money and they also prevent you from having an authentic experience.

  13. For a relationship to shift only one person needs to do so. Have things gotten cyclical? Change the approach or your perspective and watch the magic unfold.

  14. Stuff is overrated. (and a pain in the ass if you're a roaming gypsy like yours truly)

  15. Nobody will ever understand you the way you can understand yourself. And even that’s hard. So if you want someone to truly ‘get you,’ get to work. If you're reading this you probably have a couple decades to catch up on.

  16. The cure for anxiety lies in the breath. Yes, even if it means doing it at work, in the bathroom stall by yourself for ten minutes. 

  17. As far as creating change is concerned, where you spend your money is far more impactful than what you post on Facebook... Even if you post 50 times about it.

  18. You’re good enough. Duh.

  19. You can 'think' something to death but it isn’t until you actually 'do' it that you'll know if it’s the right thing for you. Unless it can kill you, do it. Just fucking do it. 

  20. What you resist persists. Sometimes the best way out of an uncomfortable emotion is through it.

  21. Making someone else responsible for your happiness is unfair to both of you—to them for the unnecessary pressure caused by your expectations and to you because they’ll never measure up to what you have in mind…because, you know, they don’t live there.

  22. Oftentimes even the worst case scenario is still figureoutable and less scary than how it seems initially. 

  23. Good advice and validation aren’t the same thing. One you seek with no conditions looking for a fresh perspective, the other you seek because you’re not grounded in your truth. When you approach someone, be honest about what you're asking for. 

  24. Sometimes hearing what you don’t want to hear is exactly what you need so learn to listen with humility. Listen to understand and not to respond right away. People will surprise you if you allow them to. 

  25. As you evolve, the people you keep close will too. 

  26. Get naked. Often. Study yourself. Your body is a miracle. You should accept that and treat it as such. Plus, the more naked you get, the more comfortable you'll be in your skin. The more comfortable you are in your skin, the better sex you'll have. (sorry mom) 

  27. Don’t let anybody ‘should’ on you. Now repeat that line quickly and out loud... I'm gonna go out here on a limb and say that the first sentence you read is way worse than the second. (Parents of infants please feel free to step in here and agree with me)

  28. A tired body can't heal a troubled mind. Take some time to eat and rest. What ever it is it can wait.

  29. Wanna know how self-aware you are? Pay attention to how much you judge others.

  30. If you don’t have a clear sense of self, someone will decide who you are for you... and it will make you miserable.

  31. Money is a transfer of energy. Nothing more, nothing less. To make it and be happy you can’t worship it or fear it. You must, however, respect it.

  32. There is nothing wrong with having material desires. Just understand that anything that you want on the material front is symbolic of a deeper need of yours and that it's a need you can source without having to become a prisoner of your stuff.

  33. If nothing else, kindness. 

 

There you have it folks! Hope this proved useful or at least entertaining. Have a wonderful day and don't forget that regardless of what it may feel like sometimes in your life, you're in the driver's seat and change is possible. 

 

Namasme.

***I'm currently in Bali so for this post's song I couldn't help but pick the song I've had on repeat all week every time we get in the car to go somewhere.... Tim Aminov's One Lone Survivor (Geju Remix). Enjoy!***

What Now? 6 Things You Can Do Daily To Advance The Feminist Agenda After The March

It’s January 23rd and two days ago millions of women marched in my unofficial hometown of Washington, DC and hundreds of cities across the world for the Women’s March. I was upset to miss it because the protest was in support of virtually all of the issues that are important to me as an American woman. Particularly close to my heart however, is the feminist cause.

You see, I’ve lived in Hong Kong for about 7 months now and while the culture shock has been significant—way more so than in any of the other countries I’ve lived—where I feel most out of place most often is oddly enough during conversation with other expats when I proudly state that I’m a feminist. The comment is usually received with the same puzzled look that dogs give their owners when they pretend to throw the tennis ball but hide it in their pocket instead and they’re left wondering how it magically disappeared.

I don’t look like I’m being oppressed. I’m white, college educated and in a stable relationship. I’m my own boss, make good money, travel when I want to, and to the surprise of some, often choose to do so alone. Why on earth would I feel so passionate about furthering the feminist agenda if there seems to be no obvious need for 'feminism' in my daily life? Where exactly is my struggle?

Well, for starters, the world is becoming a scary place right now and I happen to reside here and care about people other than myself. I also happen to believe that it got to this scary place because we as a society have misguidedly defined leadership through the lens of virility for too long. The the ‘take! take! take!’ approach championed by conscience-less capitalism and power play politics which is so attractive to men as an extension of their natural biological directive to conquer/spread their seed has also led us to erroneously define success as the positive result of a zero sum game rather than the result of a win-win collaboration.

Whether you believe in traditional archetypes or not, we’re in a tough spot and it wasn’t because women were running the show. However, as feminists we must also assume responsibility for letting things get to this point and must diligently work to change that as soon as possible.

I firmly believe that in order to restore balance, one of the most important things that we have to work towards is the achievement of gender equality. In Chinese philosophical terms, we need more yin to balance all the yang in our world current order. Fortunately the millions of women (and men) marching all over the world this weekend showed us, if nothing else, that there are plenty of us out there who care enough to continue making a difference.

But how to move forward? How to shift that balance? How can we show up for feminism every day?

As a coach I always approach problem solving from an individual mindset perspective first and then build from there. Once an issue has been identified and understood, I encourage my clients to look for small, ‘palatable’ changes they can incorporate into their lives that will in turn make conscious action on a bigger scale more effective.

Oddly enough when thinking about this issue, I found some of my answers in those conversations with western expats I mentioned previously. I identified 6 specific things that we can do daily as feminists on an individual level to keep the momentum of our movement going strong and to keep our sanity as we work to build a better, more equal, future. They are:


1. Spend your energy wisely--understand you’re not going to convert misogynists. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Denounce misogyny, yes. Try to talk somebody out of it? Good luck. With some folks, sometimes the best tactic is to wait it out a generation or two and let progress do it’s thing. Public opinion is shifting in our favor and will continue to do so if we focus our work on lifting each other up and on dialoguing with the non-believers who actually have the potential to become allies.

I’ve found that most of the decent people I’ve spoken to who don’t believe in feminism feel that way because they have an outdated definition of what it means to be a feminist or they don’t understand how bad things really are and how deeply entrenched the patriarchy is in our collective psyche.

Many people are reluctant to embrace feminism because they associate it with the notion that feminists are a bunch of man-hating women burning bras and screaming for equal rights while resorting to aggressive ‘masculine’ tactics to secure them. As feminists today we know that that couldn't be further from the truth and knowing that means part of our effort lies in raising awareness and doing so with an open mind and heart. That brings me to my second point...

2. Don’t be a tree with low hanging fruit. Particularly when engaging in conversation with folks who don’t believe in feminism it's easy to get frustrated. It’s important to keep our cool and not to take things personally. When we take things personally it's more likely that our emotions will get the best of us and we'll fight back on a personal level as well. When we let that happen, we make it easy for those we’re discussing with to shift the conversation from the subject of feminism to the way that we reacted while discussing it.

When we do that, we also make it easier for people not to question their beliefs and we put ourselves in the position of having to justify our behavior rather than our convictions. Don’t give non-believers an easy way out of such an important conversation by giving them some low hanging fruit to pick their way out of the discussion. Make them work for it. There’s too much at stake not to.

#3. Arm yourself with patience, facts, anecdotes and… questions. Because the last point is easier said than done, you will need patience to get through many conversations and you will need facts to support your points. Want an opportunity to express some of that pent up frustration and emotion? Channel it intelligently by sharing an anecdote of when you experienced or saw an indisputable case of sexism personally and how it affected you.

One of the most effective ways human beings share information is through stories. Stories are sometimes more powerful than statistics because they facilitate empathy. While it’s hard to empathize with numbers and statistics, it’s much easier to do so with Kate who was passed up for the promotion three times in favor of her other, less experienced and prepared male colleagues.

Was Kate’s story ineffective in illustrating your point? Perhaps a question is in order. Questions are a very powerful resource in debate because they help you to A) let your ‘opponent’ know you're genuinely interested in their opinion (which lowers their defenses) and B) force them to reflect on and clarify their stance in real time. Chances are, if their stance is half-baked and unclear, that will come to light and it will help you see where to take the conversation from there.

In order to achieve that though, it’s important that we:

#4. Listen--not to speak but to understand. Just because we happen to be fighting on behalf of equality which is a righteous and noble concept, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the people who don’t share our opinion are ignoble or evil. People will generally tell you everything that you need to know about them if you listen carefully enough.

We should listen to their words and to their body language. We should develop the skill of uncovering hidden objections and unspoken truths. If we do, we will realize we have more in common with each other than we may initially imagine. Remembering that will help us engage people more effectively in spirited debate since our approach won’t feel as antagonistic. As the marchers in London so kindly reminded us, this work is about building bridges, not walls.

Now that the talking bit is out of the way, let’s move on to the more action-based items on the list.

#5. Be solutions oriented and do. While so much of the work related to feminism has to do with the generation of awareness, the work definitely doesn’t stop there. It’s crucial that we walk the talk. It’s important that we invest our time, money,  and energy doing things to further the cause. We should write, volunteer, support woman-owned businesses, vote, and mentor when we have the opportunity to.

There are too many feminists out there stuck in the cycle of militantly complaining on social media. Justifiably so, but merely complaining nonetheless. As I mentioned earlier, highlighting injustice is important for building awareness and many of us are pretty great at doing so in the comfort of our own homes shielded by the safety of our keyboards. What would happen if we spent a portion of that time and energy actually being proactive rather than reactive though?

Also worth noting? Facebook's algorithm is designed to show us more and more of what we want to see so our efforts to raise awareness are likely falling on ears already friendly to the cause. 

It is equally important that we do something to fight the current status quo. The Women's March was an amazing first step for many of us but protesting is effective only when it’s followed up by sustained and focused action. There are a million ways to actually live feminism. It’s time for all of us to get a little bit uncomfortable and get a little more committed.

That extra dollar spent at a woman-owned local business instead of a Walmart may hurt a little as it leaves our hands but it will make a difference. That extra half an hour a week spent on mentoring a recent college graduate will as well. It is our duty to create those opportunities to practice what we preach and to lead by example.

On a final note, as women and as feminists it is important that we:

#6. Be good to other women and to ourselves. I find this one particularly interesting lately because I’ve seen some of the staunchest feminists I know publicly shaming other women online for their choice of dress, career, lifestyle, or men among other things. As feminists, it’s important that we not partake in the petty jokes, demeaning comments, slut shaming, or judgment of other women that is so prevalent in our society…with each other and especially in front of men.

Although it can seem harmless at the time, even the slightest 'colorful' and misplaced comment makes it harder for us to progress as a whole. Yes, that even includes comments about easy targets like Kim Kardashian and now Melania Trump. We must remember we’re all in this together. How do we expect the men of the world to respect us if we don’t respect each other?

We mustn’t forget that this extends to our treatment of ourselves as well. It’s been said that in a society as twisted as ours, self-love is a revolutionary act. As revolutionaries we must beat the patriarchy by stopping the negative self-talk, treating our bodies like the beautiful temples that they are, and losing the comparison syndrome. Contrary to what we're being sold by the media every day, we're enough just the way we are and we should act accordingly.

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I have every hope that this past weekend's march heralded the beginning of a new era for feminism worldwide and I hope that these 6 points help you be a more effective feminist moving forward. We have a long road ahead of us but I'm convinced we will achieve great things together if we stay on message and lean on each other for support.

Namasme.

 

**I picked 'Quiet' by MLCK as the song for this post because I came across the video from the march I also shared with you on my news feed. The performance you see was never rehearsed live. Those women practiced online and came together to sing this beautiful and powerful song for the first time together in DC this weekend. There are no words to express what listening to that made me feel. If you'd like to support MLCK be sure to buy the original track (you can listen to it below the vid) by clicking here.** 

***The image I used for this blog belongs to my friend Rachel Cargle who started an intersectional activism collective to give ALL women a platform to have their voice heard called The Ripple. You can follow them on IG @the.ripple.***