coping

ON LOSS, IRENE, AND THE REAL MEANING OF 'I MISS YOU'



My experience has taught me that when you’ve experienced true loss, the type of loss that never quite goes away because you feel it at your core, you often find that the words “I miss you” simply don’t cut it.

 

Maybe if the phrase ‘I miss you’ really meant

 

"I miss you. All of you. All parts of the whole and beautifully imperfect you."

 

"I miss us. All of us. Harmonious even in our disfunction."

 

"I miss what we could’ve been led by our dreams and what we weren’t because we followed our fear."

 

"I miss the idea that I would’ve ever have had the chance to thank you for teaching me that we all deserve a great love and that half of that great love is me, stripped of all the ego-driven storylines and strengthened by my raw vulnerability and surrender to the beauty of the love itself…"

 

Most of all though, if 'I miss you' meant

 

"I miss having had the opportunity before you were gone to understand that life runs its course regardless of how we feel. That a tomorrow together isn't a given so we must honor the space between 'no longer' and 'not yet' to find truth in ourselves and each other"

 

then yes, I guess a 'I miss you' would suffice.

 

I wonder, why do we insist on waiting for the painful 'I miss you' tomorrow and not practice the infinitely more satisfying 'I love you' today?

 

 

Namasme.


***ANNOUNCEMENT!***

From now on all blog posts will be accompanied by a song that I feel captures the essence of the writing in musical form. In this case Rodrigo Amarante's piece Irene, from the album Cavalo, creates the perfect moment in time for me to tell my tale. I truly love this man's ability to communicate so simply yet so profoundly. Please enjoy the song and if you must, re-read the piece. It really feels more whole with the music.

Finally, if you're moved, join me in supporting this amazing human being and master storyteller by buying the album. You won't regret it.